This made me laugh

I guessed that. So am I. I knew Dr Feelgood were from Canvey Island .

 

A biker forgot to buy his wife anything for there Wedding Anniversary. He got it both barrels when he got home from work. after a real ear bending she told him that she wanted something that does 0 to 100 as fast as his bike in the drive by the end of the week or he was in for it. Every morning after he went to work on his bike the wife looked in the drive to see if he had left her her gift but found nothing.On the last day of the week she opened the curtains to find a box in the middle of the drive. She rushed out in her dressing gown wondering what on earth would come in such a small box that would do 0 to 100 as fast has his bike. Its must be the keys to something she thought? She opened the box to find some Weighing Scales . ........The Biker hasn't been seen since.

 

This made me laugh for the wrong reason




Death crash policewoman escapes prosecution for being on mobile phone... because it was on her lap

• Collette Carpenter had phone on loud speaker in her lap at time of collision
• Motorcyclist David Bartholomew died after colliding with the side of her car
• Insufficient evidence to charge her with causing death by careless driving
• Miss Carpenter has been a special constable for three years

By INDERDEEP BAINS FOR THE DAILY MAIL

PUBLISHED: 14:27, 13 February 2013 | UPDATED: 01:36, 14 February 2013

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Special constable: Collette Carpenter, pictured here arriving at Bournemouth Coroner's Court, was using her mobile when she was involved in a fatal crash

A policewoman who repeatedly denied that she was talking on her mobile phone to her lesbian lover when she caused a fatal crash has escaped prosecution.

Despite a police investigator saying that Collette Carpenter ‘very likely contributed’ to the accident, the Crown Prosecution Service said there was no evidence she had committed an offence because the phone was on her lap and set to loudspeaker.

Miss Carpenter, 23, a special constable who has handed out at least six fixed penalty fines to motorists for using their mobile phones while driving, was talking to girlfriend Rosemary Bonny when she drove into the path of David Bartholomew’s motorcycle, an inquest heard.

The father of two died hours later of horrific head injuries and multiple fractures.

When interviewed by police, Miss Carpenter repeatedly lied and said she was not on her phone.

She later said she briefly took a call before admitting she had been on the phone for the entire journey, but had had it on the loudspeaker in her lap.

Experienced motorcyclist Mr Bartholomew, 54, of Bere Regis, Dorset, was riding his Honda CBF1000 east along the A31 at 7.20am on March 20 last year when Miss Carpenter – who was off-duty – pulled out of a side road in Ferndown to go west in her Peugeot 206.

Witnesses said no one had been breaking the speed limit, but Miss Carpenter, of Colehill, Wimborne, said she had not seen Mr Bartholomew until the collision.

Miss Carpenter, who has been with Dorset Police for three years, has completed a police driving course.

PC John Hayward, Dorset Police’s accident investigator, told Bournemouth Coroner’s Court: ‘The use of her mobile phone can only have been a distraction and has very likely contributed to her not seeing the motorcyclist.'



Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...secution-mobile-phone--lap.html#ixzz4ZQ7JYawx
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