This made me laugh

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8XCyDw/:10wRr!AtJ:qUYhFKTS/www.youtube.com/watch

 

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,
"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!"
Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too,"
Says the duck.
"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that,"
Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.
"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.
Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him
"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvelous,"says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.
"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job,"
Says the duck. "Where is it?"
"At the circus,"
Says the barman.

"The circus?"
Repeats the duck.

"That's right,"
Replies the barman.

"The circus?"
The duck asks again with the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.
The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . "What the “Hell” would they want with a plasterer??!"

 

A nice easy curve with a very visible vanishing point easy fun

 

I was in bed with the wife.
She said, "Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness."
I said, "I didn't say anything."
She said, "I wasn't talking to you."

 

Interview with Jimmy Page:
Interviewer: "Do you have any comment on the theory that if you play Stairway To Heaven backwards you hear Satanic messages?"

Jimmy Page: "Not really, I've never tried it myself. Also I have to say I have enough trouble playing it forwards."

 

That reminds me off the story when the Beatles were asked if Ringo was the best drummer around,and John replied he's not even the best drummer in the band!..ouch!

 

I once played in a band that was pretty motivated, trying to make a little money and dreamt of making a living as well...
The drummer quit to sell vacuum cleaners....
T'was a great time though...

 

Are the last two lines part of one of your songs ? Just trying to put a tune to it.

 

That sucks

 

'Clean' break from the band though

 

Shocking news about that young lady in Carlow giving birth to 3 piglets

Police are looking for the swine responsible

 

I was a the very first drummer in a school band, but my dad said I needed to concentrate on school work and stopped me, they went on to bigger things, you might of heard of them..........................DR FEELGOOD!
If I'd have followed through I'd have been very rich or very dead by now!

 

Bloody hell H.O.
Bet you don't Feel too Good about that, you might have to see the Doctor! lol