This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  1. dilligaf

    dilligaf Guest

    Feckin brilliant :joy:
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  2. Oldfart

    Oldfart Senior Member

    Oct 25, 2019
    502
    243
    Staffs Moorlands
    I remember years ago that was the Monica Lewinsky gag

    Oldfart
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. crispey

    crispey crispey creme de la creme

    Nov 6, 2014
    7,229
    1,000
    Uk
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. Helmut Visor

    Helmut Visor Only dead fish go with the flow
    Subscriber

    Oct 3, 2018
    6,272
    1,000
    Three Counties
    85047764_3071479772863494_4470094931091783680_n.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
  5. Dave C

    Dave C Elite Member

    Dec 22, 2017
    1,831
    800
    North Dorset
    IMG-20200223-WA0012.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. DCS222

    DCS222 Guest

    .

    5F916947-1235-497E-92F0-A4F365EB6529.png
     
    • Funny Funny x 16
  7. SleepyOwl

    SleepyOwl Crème de la Crème

    Jul 26, 2019
    7,285
    1,000
    Cornwall
    Glad they got that Fistula under control before we needed a school vaccine
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  8. SleepyOwl

    SleepyOwl Crème de la Crème

    Jul 26, 2019
    7,285
    1,000
    Cornwall
    .

    741F0F54-1416-4611-8442-5B23ECA54345.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 13
  9. Dave49

    Dave49 Elite Member

    Dec 30, 2019
    1,287
    800
    SW Scotland
    One day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies.

    He eventually comes round to find himself in Hell, and he starts wandering around the place, greeting his old supporters. Soon the Devil walks over to him.

    "Ah, Mr Trump", he exclaims "I've been expecting you. You present me with a bit of a problem though, because we're actually full down here - I haven't got any vacancies. But I can't let you go, as you've actually been quite bad - so I'll tell you what we'll do...we've actually got three people down here who haven't been quite as bad as you. We'll pick one of them to go to Heaven, and you can take their place. I'll even let you choose who it's going to be."

    Trump says "OK then", and the Devil walks him up this corridor, with various doors off to the side.

    The Devil opens the door of the first room, and inside is Barack Obama. There's also a deep pool of dark water, and Obama keeps jumping in, searching for something under the water which he never finds, and repeatedly comes up gasping for air. He does this 24-hours-a-day. That is his fate in Hell.

    Trump looks at this and says "No, I could never do that - I'm not a very good swimmer and it would ruin my hair."

    So the Devil takes him to the second room and opens the door. Inside is Tony Blair, wielding a sledgehammer, smashing rocks. He's sweating buckets and this is what he does, 24-hours a day - that is his fate in Hell.

    Trump looks at this and says "Oh no, I could never do that...I have a little arthritis in my right shoulder. This would never work for me".

    So the Devil says "It'll have to be the last one then", and walks up to the third door, which he opens. Trump looks in and what he sees astonishes him. Inside this room is Bill Clinton, tied naked to a bed. Kneeling over him is Monica Lewinsky. Bill is clearly having a good time.

    Trump says "Oh boy! yes...this is the one for me."

    And the Devil says “Are you quite sure?”

    “Oh yes, quite sure!”

    "No problem”, says the Devil, “That's fine. This shall be your fate for all eternity. OK Monica...you're free to go".
     
    • Funny Funny x 12
  10. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    Today I saw dwarf prisoner climbing down a wall.
    I thought to myself "Now, that's a little condescending".
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
    • Face Palm Face Palm x 2
  11. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    My neighbour is the Guinness World record holder for the person surviving the most concussions in a life time. He's sustained 56 of them.

    He lives just a stone's throw away from me
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
  12. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    Q: Whats the similarity between a short sighted gynaecologist and a dog ?

    A: A wet nose
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
  13. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
    Subscriber

    Dec 3, 2018
    22,589
    1,000
    Tucson Arizona
    Screen Shot 2020-02-23 at 3.11.08 PM.png
     
    • Funny Funny x 10
  14. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    Spotted near some posh apartments in Southampton by a friend...

    IMG_20181115_144002844_HDR_copy_979x1200.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Useful Useful x 1
  15. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
    Subscriber

    Dec 3, 2018
    22,589
    1,000
    Tucson Arizona
    Screen Shot 2020-02-23 at 3.12.33 PM.png
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
    • Agree Agree x 1
  16. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    Police have arrested two youths in Leeds after they collapsed at a rave, they were found to be carrying a large number of syringes for injecting a liquid form of ecstasy directly into the mouth. Police have condemned the practice which is known as 'e-by-gum
     
    • Funny Funny x 9
  17. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    burkina faso.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 13
    • WTF WTF x 1
  18. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    • Funny Funny x 11
    • Like Like x 1
  19. darkman

    darkman Crème de la Crème

    Oct 26, 2015
    7,633
    1,000
    Southcoast of the UK Earth
    Didn’t sleep a wink last night. Dreamt all night I was a muffler.

    I woke up exhausted.
     
    • Funny Funny x 11
  20. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    Isn't it curious that "strap on" is "no parts" backwards?
     
    • Funny Funny x 15
Loading...

Share This Page