This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

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  1. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    I went to an interview for a job as a human cannonball.



    I didn't get the job. Apparently I'm not of the right calibre.
     
    • Funny Funny x 9
  2. Oldfart

    Oldfart Senior Member

    Oct 25, 2019
    502
    243
    Staffs Moorlands
    :scream: My partner bought me one of these - what's she trying to tell me??

    Oldfart

    Screenshot 2020-02-05 at 17.27.57.png
     
    • Funny Funny x 9
  3. Oldfart

    Oldfart Senior Member

    Oct 25, 2019
    502
    243
    Staffs Moorlands
    You've met her??????

    ;)

    Oldfart
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  4. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
    800
    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    I forgot to mention... The previous bloke got fired.
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
    • Face Palm Face Palm x 2
  5. JerryBB

    JerryBB Noble Member

    Oct 6, 2019
    1,169
    443
    Wales

    what do you mean it is only Wednesday?

    you bast#rd
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  6. Timmy Tucker

    Timmy Tucker Elite Member

    Apr 20, 2019
    3,174
    800
    Newmarket
    Screenshot_20200205-172513_Chrome.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 12
    • Like Like x 1
    • Cheers Cheers x 1
  7. Patchinko

    Patchinko Senior Member

    Feb 1, 2018
    340
    213
    S.W. Hants
    Is that Andy Ruiz Jr after loosing his title back to AJ?
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  8. Fourbears

    Fourbears Noble Member

    Dec 8, 2017
    498
    413
    Norfolk
    3BF69F11-155D-4CB5-932E-9E4D42943892.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 14
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  9. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
    Subscriber

    Dec 3, 2018
    22,580
    1,000
    Tucson Arizona
    Screen Shot 2020-02-04 at 8.15.49 PM.png
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  10. crispey

    crispey crispey creme de la creme

    Nov 6, 2014
    7,229
    1,000
    Uk
    Room with a view?
    3C60FDC8-E174-4132-ADA7-82B45776FF20.jpeg
    oh! There it is

    5ED93C6F-4119-4B09-8A4C-64A181945CEE.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  11. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
    Subscriber

    Dec 3, 2018
    22,580
    1,000
    Tucson Arizona
    Screen Shot 2020-02-04 at 8.23.21 PM.png
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 3
  12. crispey

    crispey crispey creme de la creme

    Nov 6, 2014
    7,229
    1,000
    Uk
    Every side street in Male is like this, they must have 10 mopeds per person!
    3EA2B1D7-1253-48F3-923D-F449E8FEE944.jpeg
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 2
  13. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
    Subscriber

    Dec 3, 2018
    22,580
    1,000
    Tucson Arizona
    Screen Shot 2020-02-04 at 8.11.01 PM.png
     
    • Agree Agree x 7
  14. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

    Mar 14, 2018
    17,969
    1,000
    Netherlands
    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 12
    • Like Like x 4
  15. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
    Subscriber

    I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.
    I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
    She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.
    I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.'
    So she unwrapped the package,
    took one out and slipped it over her thumb.
    She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty.
    It was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
    Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
    'Do these excite you ?' She asked.
    Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head.
    She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
    As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
    'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'
    So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes.
    She looked at me with a bit of a frown.
    'Did you put that condom on ?' she asked.
    I said, 'I sure did"and held up my thumb to show her!
     
    • Funny Funny x 14
  16. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
    Subscriber

    Police are on the lookout for a man, who has stabbed 6 people with knitting needles!
    A police spokesman said 'he seems to be following a pattern'
     
    • Funny Funny x 15
  17. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

    Mar 14, 2018
    17,969
    1,000
    Netherlands
    I have two mates who had never met before. Just before they did meet last week I told them both that the other was hard of hearing.




    They shouted at each other for ten minutes before they worked out I'm an arsehole.
     
    • Funny Funny x 20
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

    Mar 14, 2018
    17,969
    1,000
    Netherlands
    I'm so old. My first app was a







    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 6
    • Funny Funny x 4
  19. Callumity

    Callumity Elite Member

    Feb 25, 2017
    3,358
    800
    Nr Biggar
    They went bust in 1984 when your iPad looked like this.......if you could afford one.

    68466E0B-6378-4860-99AC-586ED040166F.jpeg

    With hindsight the software was incredibly primitive......and I still can’t encode!
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 1
  20. OsteKuste

    OsteKuste Intergalactic Warlord
    Subscriber

    Oct 22, 2017
    2,197
    943
    Tennessee, United States
    DF7E64A8-D4C9-4745-BA10-000D847C7B9B.jpeg 0016F0BD-25C8-4E6E-BAB8-0DAE995BF43E.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
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