This made me laugh

This one made chuckle

 

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You born in January by any chance?

 

79 +40 is 2019

Will need to update to equal 2020 soon, then it's current year minus age is year born.

 

Not sure whether to run towards this or get the feck in the other direction!

 

AAH! That means you have to go out and buy me a new motorcycle

 

Just say feck it and go buy one anyway....

 

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This is awesome!! But then it's not like I've ever needed an excuse to buy a new motorcycle.

 

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When & where

 

Aye that f#cking ST IZAL tracing paper toilet roll, nasty stuff bloody arsse looked like a Japanese flag after using the bloody stuff either that or your had marks half way up your back.

 

Courier knocked on my door this afternoon.

"Got a parcel for your neighbour" he says.

"You're at the wrong house then" I replied.

 

I received a phone call from a claims company today.

"Have you had an accident in the last 6 months, either at work or in the car?"

"Yes I have actually." I confessed, "It was at work, whilst sat at my desk."

"I see..." came the reply, "And did you think about suing the company?"

"No, I just went home and changed my underpants."