This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

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  1. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  2. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

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  3. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  4. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  5. Helmut Visor

    Helmut Visor Only dead fish go with the flow
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  6. Helmut Visor

    Helmut Visor Only dead fish go with the flow
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  7. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

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    A friend thinks he's got the body of a Greek god.


    I explained to him the Buddha is not Greek.
     
    • Funny Funny x 9
  8. Havit

    Havit Admin
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    Jul 17, 2015
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    Dont make me laugh Jez :p
     
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  9. darkman

    darkman Crème de la Crème

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  10. Dave C

    Dave C Elite Member

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  11. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
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    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    Once when lost as a child, I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents.
    I said to him "Do you think we'll ever find them."
    He said “I don't know kid - there are so many places they can hide."

    I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out of a window on the tenth floor.
    So they sent a priest up to talk to me. He said "On your marks."

    When my father wanted sex my mother would show him a picture of me.

    I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library.
    I woke up to find a blind man reading my face.

    One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

    It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips - yet she won't drink from my glass!

    I went for a walk in the park and some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

    This morning when I put on my underwear, I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.

    I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.

    My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

    I asked her if she enjoys a cigarette after sex. She said "No.. one drag is enough."

    I got myself good this morning. I did my push ups in the nude but I didn't see the mouse trap.

    A girl phoned me and said "Come on over there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

    A hooker once told me she had a headache.

    If it weren't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

    I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"
    She said "No, I hate myself now."
    She was no bargain either. She had pigtails under her arms.

    My wife made me join a bridge club. I’m scheduled to jump off next Tuesday.
     
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  12. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
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    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    My kids keep laughing at me getting things confused as I get older.

    I bet they won't be laughing at Christmas when there's no eggs under the bonfire!
     
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  13. Erling

    Erling Elite Member

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  14. Dave C

    Dave C Elite Member

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  15. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

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  16. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

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  17. SleepyOwl

    SleepyOwl Crème de la Crème

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  18. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

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  19. SleepyOwl

    SleepyOwl Crème de la Crème

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  20. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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