This made me laugh

Me husband is a keeper, he's a very busy man,
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes of an evening I feel a trifle dim,
All alone and plucking pheasants when I'd rather pluck with him.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Cos the pheasant plucker's late.

I'm not good at plucking pheasants, pheasant plucking I get stuck,
Though some peasants find it pleasant I'd much rather pluck a duck,
Oh, but plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But plucking pheasants is sheer torture, for they haven't any grease.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
He has gone out on the tiles,
He only plucked one pheasant
And I'm sitting here with piles.

You have to pluck them fresh, if they're fresh it's not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable, could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable has pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar of a Sunday 'twixt the first and second lessons.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant plucker's come.

My good friend Godfrey's most adept, he's really got the knack,
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I try and lend a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It's really all this pheasant plucking keeps us here together.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's friend,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
As a means unto an end.

Me husband's in the woods all day, a-banging with his gun,
If he could hear me heartfelt cries, then surely he would run,
For I've fluff in all me crannies and there's feathers up me nose,
And I'm itchin' in the kitchin' from me head down to me toes.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's wife,
And when we pluck together
It's a pheasant plucking life!

Psssst. Verse 2 for @Duckadiledundee Peasants and ducks in one line!

 

Sorry Big Sandy, I struggled to get past the first line. It must be very emotional for you to share that with us.

 

Aaaah. I'm not a pheasant plucker. So I'm told anyhoo....is that why I have no mates?

 

Wor lass says I drink too much
So reaching some sort of compromise I’ve promised her I will only drink on days starting with the letter T

TUESDAY
THURSDAY


TODAY
TOMORROW
THATURDAY
AND THUNDAY

 

Diane Abbott's just announced that every household will get free broad beans by 2030!

 

You forgot T'Monday Dilli,

 

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Yes, Dilli, I agree with DD about you having more opportunities to practice. And I think the following quote is most appropriate in the context of this discussion. As the great Swami Vivekananda instructs us.....



And I believe every day would include "T'Monday.

P.S. Anyone here know who the heck Swami Vivekananda is??!!

 

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Damn, it’s not working!






















Hahahah

 

I love how the two on the branch are looking the other way

 

Tampax are taking the string out of tampons and replacing it with tinsel but this will only be for the Christmas period.

 

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