This made me laugh

Blimey, French really does sound shit.

 

Like in "Coq au vin" ... Cock over
Wass das heisst, anyway?

Nothing, but a melodic 'Frontlinienverteidigungsstellungen'!

 

Ahhhhh memories, I was 15 and in hospital for 4 days observation on a leg injury caused playing footie. It was a big ward and all men obviously in those days. there was a a roaring trade in Commando mags there, they used to go all round the ward and by the time they got back to the start of the ward there were new patients to read them and keep the circle going. The guys had beer and fags in there too but they wouldnt let me have either,lol. The nurses knew all about the illicit stuff but didnt bother at all. So bloody different now with all this PC lark

 

When I was 10, we had a teacher who for me came strait out of Pink Floyd's 'The Wall' (even though at that time Pink Floyd were probably working on 'Wish you were here').
A Danish boy in the next row was stealthily reading a Buffalo Bill comic and got caught by the teacher who ordered him to his desk.
The old guy took the booklet, leafed through it, then tore it into pieces and threw it into the trash, muttering
something about how the Americans undermine our discipline.
When the boy started to protest, we suddenly all heard a sharp slapping sound and next, Per was holding his burning cheek, successfully fighting back some tears.

I sat bolt upride in my chair. Couldn't believe what I had just witnessed...
It was the 70s: everything had to be discussed with candles on and more tea on the stove. Everyone was relaxed and full of sh..., eh peace.
After school, I told Per to have his parents call the police about this. He shook his head and said: 'Man, if I tell my dad, he just slaps my other cheek and cuts my pocket money..."

Back home with my parents at the dinner-table, I pledged for justice. I was in rage and felt utterly indignant. Mostly about the comic: it was worth 1,50 Marks! A fortune!
My dad smiled and said, yes this teacher was a relic from the 3rd Reich but he never teamed up with the Nazis, actually had been part of the resistance. And so he would never prosecute him.

Whenever I listen to the 'Wall', I think of that day...

 

D.D., that is hilarious!!!

 

There were certainly teachers you knew not to mess with.
We had a Geography/PE teacher who was a keen amatuer rugby player.
His favourite punishment was the dead leg, you couldnt walk right for a week

 

Talking about good reading when we were kids, did you have these in English?
It started me into SciFi big time

 

Hrhr, my teacher in primary school was deadly with chalk AND keys. I once threw the chalk back and missed by a country mile. Not a good idea...

 

We had a french teacher who was a shit shot with chalk. One day he launched a full piece at the lad behind me. It hit me right in the corner of the mouth. It stung like hell but I didn't flinch, just gave him the stare. He told the lad behind me off then apologised to me. The stare didn't work though, he stayed in town.

 

I don't know if folks down south ever got the belt/strap/tawse if you misbehaved at school, but i remember one day when the "troublemakers" in class..me included decided to have a competition and see who get the most of the belt, i can't remember numbers now but come the last period of the day the winner was going to be between 3 of us and we knew it was going to be tough as the last period was Geography and the teacher was a little quiet lady who i'd never seen give the strap,so we all went all out to get the strap,i feel really sorry for her looking back she eventually cracked with about 5 minutes to go and said to my mate look I've had enough of you today would you like the belt He was up like a shot.. Yes Please Mrs he only got a pathetic 2 of the belt from her but it was enough to make him the winner

 

Hopefully it wasnt the start of a little quiet lady with a whip fetish!

 

she probably had a brandy or 2 after class

 

D.D.,

it is interesting were your learning-focus is in this example!
Others would've learned loads about pirate copying...

Proves, deep inside, you must be a brave and honest soul.

 

OK. I take it back...

Oh and VHS's sound fine, but only if you signed them yourself

 

I go to the pub now.
I need that beer.
You are a brilliant bunch, fellows!

 

ha Dougie!
Being the only sassanach at Rhu Primary back in the 60's I found myself getting the strap on a regular basis for things I wasn't aware I'd done, but had according to several eye witnesses. My headmistress then , Miss Burt, had a selection of straps of varying thickness and splits in the tails, as I remember. Took my hand away during one session and she whacked her own knee which was amusing until she recovered

 

I believe the two guys on the floor at Oktoberfest were British?

English.

 

My own Lochgelly Tawse.

 

We had a teacher who had one of those "Lochgelly Heavys" didn't like getting the belt from him as he would accidentally on purpose hit the back of your hand on the upstroke