This made me laugh

Should post that in the Only 3 bikes thread

 

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I don't know what "it" is but she's definitely got it.

 

Them?

 

Them as well.

 

Viagra

 

Someone offered me eight legs of venison this evening for 20 quid, do you think that was two deer

 

Looks like two nips on the left booby doo?

 

True story...

Strathy point, mid 90's. Christmas is almost upon us and it's the last day of primary school. Teacher is talking about santa and his reindeer, when one little boy in the class starts crying.

"What's the matter wee Calum?"

Sniff sniff.. "Santa's no comin miss".

"How no, Calum?"

"Two of his reindeer are dead, miss"

"How do you know, Calum?"

"Cos daddies got them hung up in the shed in the garden, miss."

Teacher rang the plod...

Daddy had been poaching. Daddy wasn't home that Christmas.....

 

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A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation...

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following...

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time"...

The lady can't take this any more,
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig".. She retorted indignantly...

"In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives...

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin'abouta sex...? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi"

 

YOU HAD ONE JOB, Family Flicks