This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

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  1. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  2. Timmy Tucker

    Timmy Tucker Elite Member

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    Timmy Tucker Elite Member

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  4. capt

    capt Elite Member

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    That joke is a bit like "the little thing's" joke in the desert !
     
  5. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
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    Vulpes Confused Member

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    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
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  11. Helmut Visor

    Helmut Visor Only dead fish go with the flow
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    A store that sells new husbands has opened in London where a woman may go to choose a husband.
    Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
    On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

    Floor 1 - These Men Have Jobs
    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 2 - These Men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
    'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

    So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3 - These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

    Still, she carries on to the fifth floor where the sign reads:

    Floor 5 - These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but goes up to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please and are all just want, want, want.

    No wonder you are on you own, you deserve to be left on the shelf. Now please leave!

    Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

    PLEASE NOTE:

    To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

    The first floor has women that love sex.

    The second floor has women that love sex, have some money and like a beer and a fuck whenever you fancy!

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
     
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  12. darkman

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  14. David Cooper

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    Jeremy Corbyn asked the Queen. "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient organisation? Are there any tips you can give me?"

    "Well." Said the Queen. "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

    Jeremy Corbyn then asked. "But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?"

    The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy, you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch me and listen."

    The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Prince Charles in here, would you?"

    Prince Charles walked into the room and said. Yes, Mother?

    The Queen smiled and said to Charles. "Answer me this please Charles. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

    Without pausing for a moment, Prince Charles answered. "That would be me."

    "Yes, very good!" Said the Queen.

    Ah ha I get it said Jeremy, thank you Ma'am. And in a great rush he left.

    Corbyn went back to Parliament and decided to ask Diane Abbott the same question.

    "Diane, answer this for me." "Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

    "I'm not sure." Said Abbott. And then in true Diane Abbott style she went on to say. "Let me get back to you on that one."

    She went to her advisers and asked everyone, but none could give her an answer.

    Frustrated, Diane went for a coffee and met Nigel Farage. "Nigel, see if you can answer this question."

    "Okay." Replied Nigel.

    "Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

    Farage immediately answered,."That’s easy, it's me!"

    Abbott grinned and said. "Good answer Nigel, I see it all now!"

    Abbott then, went back to find Corbyn and said to him. "Jeremy, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle
    'If your mother and father have a child who is not your brother or your sister, the child is Nigel Farage!"'

    Corbyn went red in the face, got up, stomped over to Abbott, and yelled in her face. "No! You bloody idiot! It's Prince Charles!"
     
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  20. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    That brickwork could do with pointing

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