This made me laugh

ɹəpun uʍop sɹəuʍo pɥ oʇ uəddɐɥ plnoɔ ʇı ʇnq

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Corbyn.looked at Abbot chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a £1,000 note out of the window right now and make somebody very happy." Abbot shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten £100 notes out of the window and make ten people very happy" Hearing their exchange, the pilot of plane said to his co-pilot,"Such big-shots back there. I could throw both of them out of the window and make 28 million people very happy!"

 

An obvious joke as Abbott wouldn’t have said that!

She’d have pontificated and said (do the voice) “Well Jerwemy, I could thwrow ten-ty-ten pouwnd notes out of the window and make 10,000 police men and women happy over a four year period”

 

A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Australia tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Australia , the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food every day and I get a free trip to Australia."
"I see," the captain says 'and thats all is it?'
Her conscience then got the better of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Isle of Wight Ferry."

 

,

 

,

 

,

 

,

 

,

 

Went to Cheltenham today and parked behind this Transit.

 

This is one I’ll have to admit is escaping me. Mark it up as being a colonial savage.

 

I'm just imagining a suit going round asking woodlice questions about their family.

"Well, Mr and Mrs Slater, just how many of you are there living under this brick....?"