This made me laugh

Look at the girth of your finger versus the girth of your turds...

This advice is sponsored by Cadbury’s...

 

Brilliant

 

.

 

,

 

,

 

.

 

.

 

,

 

.

 

My Mrs drew her Eyebrows on too high. So I told her.

She seemed surprised....

 

Yes, yes, yes! This sums it all up perfectly.

 

,

 

,

 

A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract the attention of a spectacular young blonde woman...

Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish"...?

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No"...

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed...

This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion...

The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish"...?

Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No"...

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reaches for the woman yet again...

Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets...

Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping...

Struggling to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asks again,

"You finish"...?

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispers in his ear,

"No, I Norwegian"...