This made me laugh

A wife thinks she needs a boob enhancement surgery, the tightwad husband sees $$,$$$ that could fly out the window, cause once she has big boobs she may fly the coop to find a richer guy. So his suggestion is to her just stroke them twice a day with toilet paper. She says what the hell makes you think that will work. He says it worked for your arse didn't it.

 

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During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?

 

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Once you see the rear end of an i8 is shitting out a Porsche 911 it can’t be unseen

 

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Hey @Ron Ashurst this is for you buddy!

 

Nope....

 

WTF

 

I get that on prescription