This made me laugh

The young couple next door have made a sex tape.....

They don't actually know it, yet.

 

A man met a beautiful lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away...

She said, “But we don't know anything about each other”...

He said, “That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along”...

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort...

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife...

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel...

She said, “That was incredible!”...

He said, “I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along”...

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths...

After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath...

He said, “That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?”...

“No”, she said, “I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the Mersey”...

 

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Just seen this on FB !!!!

 

@Dozers Dad next project?

 

No chance ! £10 maybe just maybe, but at £1000, no feckin chance.

 

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

 

The're not, and it isn't.

 

Still adverse to water though...

 

Gaffer tape... my best friend!

It turns “No No NO !!!” Into “ Mmm Mmm MMM !!!”

 

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Does this handkerchief smell like chloroform to you?