This made me laugh

I’m incredulous...

 

I took the ARRC to an event. The welcome sign said ARSE... I have a photo but can’t post it as it wouldn’t be appropriate.

 

FFS ....


Do people really need to be told this ???? Yeah probably

 

I would have though a 69, sorry, 99 would be better

 

Mighty Boosh, full episode and 3 series on Netflix. Crack fox is a classic.

 

No idea what that was about...

 

So I’ve got to 50 years old and I’ve just realised that the famous London station is St. Pancras and not St. Pancreas!!!

 

Fabulous Ron, thanks for that matey.

 

Can't remember how old I was, certainly I was an adult when I realised Judas Iscariat was the traitor. I'd always assumed it was Judas's Cariot, like some kind of chariot. I always thought it was a bit odd, but then religion always sounded very odd to me anyway.

 

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk....

The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today??"

"There's something wrong with my d--k", he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"

There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

 

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Went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage

Apparently it was bread in captivity

 

Hey, this could be the solution to our horrible roads and pothole problems here in Tucson! It's certainly hot enough at 105° to give it a try.

 

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband’s funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, “Do you mind if I say a word?”

“No, go right ahead,” the woman replies.

The man stands, clears his throat, says “Plethora” and sits back down.

“Thanks,” the woman says, “that means a lot.”