This made me laugh

Wow ! Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers; Gene Kelly, Mickey Rooney and LOTS of other great entertainers - from a different era yes, but still fantastic.

Thanks Wayne, a real delight. What an excellent way to start the day !

 

Or proctologists!

 

Bloody funny, really really funny !!!!!!!!

 

Hairy Styles never sound better, Zane absolutely inzane.

 

An oldie but a goodie.

 

Wonderful English from Around the World


In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry Cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom Nairobi:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS


In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.


Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A Laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

And finally the all-time classic:

Seen in Abu Dhabi in a Souk shop window:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…

 

A blond has become dreadfully overweight. She goes to the doctor and he decides to put her on a diet.

"I want you to eat normally for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. Next time I see you, you'll probably be 5 pounds lighter."

The blonde returns after 2 weeks, but upon weighing her it turns out she lost 20 pounds.

"That's amazing!" Said the doctor, "and you followed my instructions?"

The blond nods, tiredly. "I'll tell you, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" Asked her doctor.

"No, silly, from the skipping!"

 

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a saloon and sat down to drink a beer.

After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do....... Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you?d like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was close to death from heat exhaustion.

The Lone Ranger got the horse watered and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to cool down and feel better."

Tonto said, "Sure, no worries Kimosabe" and took off running circles around Silver.

Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the saloon to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again, and says, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"



"Nothing, but you left your injun runnin!"

 

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...

She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

She seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hers.

As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes.. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

"Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

 

I know it ain't interlektuelle - but it can be funny!

 

Had a quiet day at home then Biggy

 

Yup !!!

 

A Romanian, an Arab and a Yorkshire Lass are in the same bar.

When the Romanian finishes his beer he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces .
He says, "In Romania our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice"

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his non-alcoholic beer (cuz he's a Muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In the Arab world, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either".

The Yorkshire Lass, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her Colt 45 and shoots the Romanian and the Arab.

Catching her glass, setting it on the bar and calling for a refill, she says "In Yorkshire we have so many illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice"

God Bless YORKSHIRE