This made me laugh

I’d like to ask her about some private lessons. Wonder if she would notice I don’t have any kids...

 

Why... Why would the crazy bastards do that to a nice (straight) country road...

Maybe it has something to do with there being a traffic problem with too many bicycles in the Netherlands?

The shot was taken at rush hour?

 

...

 

This morning I was on a conference call and some crazy delivery courier was knocking the door and ringing the bell - I dashed down to take an Amazon order, and thinking it was another of my bike related gadget purchases ripped the box open to retrieve this...



I thought - silly buggers, I didn't order this, and I am quite sure Mrs Tigger didn't either... Must be a mistake. Until I read the addressee - it was ordered by my eldest son...

What to do? The box is opened. Can I reseal it and pretend I don't know? In the end I put it into his room with a bicycle pump. Mrs Tigger told me to remove the pump.

What would you have done?

Please don't say you'd give it a go...

 

your son? right.... if you say so

 

Hide it for a few days, put a puncture in it, give it him in its original packaging and say you’re going away for the weekend

 

Good point, taking after me, my son would have access to the real thing and not need an inflatable Tereza!

My son must be an imposter...

hmmm... That's not what you meant is it?!?

 

The box, it's still in is shrink wrap - I wasn't (contrary to the collective opinion of the inmates here) interested in opening the box itself. I had meant I ripped open the Amazon delivery box in which it was transported to our house. Oh - ffs - just thought of the embarrassment if they shipped it like that (without a 'cover') and I ran down to the door 'out of breath' (as I a'int the fittest specimen) saying "thank you I was really needing that to arrive - I was getting desperate"... With me thinking its my handle bar risers I have just bought from China... Woooohaaa - misunderstandings and my reputation with the local Church will have plummeted to that of their opinion of the Pope!!!

I was blushing.

Seriously!

Actually - I am agnostic - I just find it hard to believe anything unless efficacy can be proven. Religion fails 10/10 time thus far but I am hoping that they will rally and that we will find salvation. I am rooting for the religion where there are lots of virgins - because there aren't any in Guildford.

 

Tereza looks like she might be a virgin

 

Turn her inside out and re-pack, if your sons says nowt he’s gay

 

A mate had one. He said it was rubbish. One love bite and she farted and flew out the window......

 

NNNNNnnnnnooooooo...... Awful! Poor chap.

On reflection, we had an 'educational' talk by the LGBT+QXYZ representative yesterday (seriously there are 200+ terms for how people identify their sexuality). My middle son is pissed off as he's fed up with being told by these people he's bisexual just because he hasn't met the right person...This is true (despite him having a steady gf for 2 years). Back to the subject about inclusion and diversity. I lost my rag when they went on about sexuality (in the work place?!? haven't they heard of #metoo?) apparently its ok to rant about your sexual preferences if is fits into their acceptable taxonomy of terms. Not so if you are a bloke chatting up a woman / or indeed a woman doing the same - less instances of that happening though.

Maybe this chap should just say he's the 200+1 definition which is attracted to inflatable girlfriends - and that any slagging off is undermining his human rights (or something). He'd maybe get lawyers fighting to protect his rights to shag rubber!

 

I'll ask my son tomorrow morning and let you know if she still is!

 

ffs that's funny!

 

You got yourself a blow up virgin! For a while anyway, until you give her to your son and go out for the evening. Or is she?!?!

 

Cheap to take on holiday, fits in your handbagage, who here can say that about their missus?

 

I'm with you mate. Absolutely ridiculous!

 

Good point - my Mrs has the double bed and I’m in the spare room, but doubt she’d fit in handbagage. Apparently this arrangement is because I snore. I tried to point out that I wouldn’t snore if ‘awake and active’ and dealing with my chores as a husband.

I am still in the spare room.

Does anyone know of a pretty 40+ But <<55 nymphomaniac - seeking a sex starved Pratt?

It’s not for me, but my son...