This made me laugh

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It’s Sunday tomorrow and I feel I ought to remind you that Jesus died for our sins.
So, get out tonight and commit a few, otherwise he died for nothing.

 

Stupid tattoo

 

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I once worked in Wrexham, while at the customers house - she said she was going to pick up the kids from school. There was a loud rumble and she had gone. Went to my van - and she returned - on a quad with a child on all 4 mudguard. You really could not make it up. If I remember rightly it was on Queens estate.

 

I told my mate that in order to get more sex out of my girlfriend, I told her I'd marry her next summer. "July?" he asked. "Of course I did." I said.

 

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