This made me laugh

I put up the joke, my family is Jewish, and we think it’s hilarious. Gets an eye roll and a groan every time we tell it to someone new, except snowflakes that don’t really have a reason other than a perpetual state of being offended. I will keep my cultures jokes to myself and appropriately scowl from now on.

Not really!

Why didn’t Hitler wear a watch?

He didn’t like Jewery!

 

TIL when the viking Rollo Flanders was asked to kiss the foot of King Charles, he refused and instead commanded one of his warriors to do it. The warrior complied by taking the king’s foot, lifting it to head height while dragging the king out of his chair, and kissing the king’s foot.

 

An old Indian chief was asked the name of his wife. He replied, "Wife name, I call - Tai' Shiko Waka Izdząą ." 'Thats unusual, what is it in English' 'It mean, 'Three Horse Woman'. "Really, and why Three Horse Woman?" "It old Apache name from the time before time. Name mean - nag, nag, nag"

 

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A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

 

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The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."
The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."
"I know how to fuck, mother," the bride-to-be interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."