This made me laugh

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Safety first.

 

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Only in Russia.

 

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This made me laugh! Better late than never.

 

A bloke is rushed to A&E with a Morphy Richards steam iron up his backside, "Good grief, " said the doctor, "I thought I'd seen it all, how on Earth did you manage that?" "Well, " said the bloke, "it happened just after my wife opened her birthday present. "

 

A blonde boards a flight to New York and although she only has an economy ticket she takes a seat in first class. Seeing this the stewardess speaks with her but she refuses to move. The chief steward has a go but the girl stays put. Finally the captain is notified and as he leaves the cockpit says to the stewards “ leave this to me, my wife is blonde, I’m fluent in blonde”. So he walks up to the blonde and leans down to whisper in her ear and a short time later she gets up and takes her seat in economy. “How did you manage that” said the stewardess, “simple” replied the captain, “I simply told her that first class isn’t going to New York”

 

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