This made me laugh

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To all the mathematicians who came up with the concept of zero.. Thanks for nothing.

 

I went into Ann Summers and brought a 5" dildo for my wife. The cashier said "That will be £7.63 please" so I handed over a £50 note. She said "Oh my, have you got anything smaller?" I replied "Yes that's why I'm buying this dildo for my wife"

 

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Superman is flying around one day and he’s feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of a building and drops down to ask him where the best place to get laid is. Batman proceeds to tell him that Wonder Woman is a great lay.

Superman then tells him that he couldn’t do that to her because they have been friends for too long and he flies away. Superman then sees Spider-man swinging around and flies next to him while he’s swinging and asks him who the best piece of arse is.

Spider-man tells him that he hears Wonder Woman is good and tells him to look her up. Disgruntled Superman takes to the air and flies about. He then notices Wonder Woman lying in a field naked and spread Eagle.

He thinks I’m faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of that so fast she’ll never know what hit her. So, he flies down does his business and in 4 seconds he’s back in the air flying away.

Wonder Woman looks up and says “What was that?” Invisible Man says: “I don’t know but my arse hurts!”