This made me laugh

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Can tell it's going to be a cold winter, the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual.

Haven't heard from 2 relatives and 3 forum members for over a week !!!

 

John Lewis Xmas Advert, watch till end

 

The pope is visiting a school in Newcastle. He's handing out miracles. A wee boy walks on stage and asks the pope to help with his hearing.
The pope puts his hands on the boys ears and says a prayer.
When finished the pope asks the boys "How is your hearing now?"

The boy replies" I don't know, my court appointment isn't till next week "

 

what it represents aint funny or makes me laugh

 

Full of Christmas cheer that one

 

A Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-35 about 2 miles south of Waco Texas. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Austin Texas to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Troopers car. A drunken good old boy from central Texas got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the State car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”

 

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An old bloke hires a hitman to kill his wife of 40 years... The hitman says "It'll be a quick kill, I'll shoot her just below the left breast"... The husband says "I want her dead, not fucking kneecapped!"

 

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