This made me laugh

I believe there is a business opportunity there Graham

 

Have used this picture before on here
Dunno where it was but @Dozers Dad put a picture of him and his Mrs doing the same thing on here as well
Everyone should do it

 

Erm ... I quite like my testicles the way they are thanks

 

I Love my testicles as they are a part of me

 

Have you recovered from the bilateral orchidectomy from the last time yet?

 

Oh Yes! Guilty ... I might even be part French come to think of it!

 

.

 

,

 

Nice combo

 

I got a large Domino's pizza delivered to the pub last night. As I sat there with the box on the table in front of me the landlord came over and said, "You'll have to take that out if you want to eat it." I said, "I know mate, I'm hardly going to chew it through the cardboard!"

 

Remember when everyone had diaries and got pissed off when someone read them? Now they put everything on Facebook and get pissed off when they don't!

 

A man and his wife are getting ready for a party... Wife: "Does this dress make me look fat?" Man: "Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?" Wife: "Yes, I promise!" Man: "I shagged your sister!"

 

A leading expert in space exploration has accused ITV of faking the famous Button Moon landings of the 1980’s, and he claims to have ‘shocking evidence’ to prove these claims.

Professor Jeremy Spike of the University of East Essex contacted our Chief Reporter a few days ago about these allegations, and we agreed to meet him in a secret location because of recent death threats that he has received over the claims.

He said: ‘I have analysed footage of every single Button Moon landing that took place between 1980 and 1988, and I have noticed a number of irregularities that are really worrying.’

‘I am sorry to say that members of the public have been tricked into believing that we successfully sent a team of astronauts to Button Moon without any specialist equipment, and this could be one of the largest cover-ups in the history of the British government.’

We asked Professor Spike to explain his findings. He added: ‘If you look very carefully at the footage, you can see the outlines of black gloves moving around on a black background.’

‘When the footage was first broadcast, most people were watching on a six-inch screen with three channels and it all looked really convincing.’

‘With the benefit of modern high-definition screens and digital re-mastering, it is clear that the footage has been manipulated.’

‘I am aware that the Thatcher Conservative government was keen to boost national pride with feats of scientific achievement, but somehow nobody noticed a talking bottle of Domestos bleach either.’

‘Some of the guys in the lab have been performing forensic evidence on a replica of the original rocket that was used for most of the missions, and we have significant data to show that it was in fact an empty Heinz Baked Beans tin and a funnel.’

‘We also have proof to back up my claim that spoons are not capable of basic independent thought, let alone taking full control of a manned spacecraft without any presence of a ground control unit.’

 

Oh shit! Does this mean brexit ain’t gonna happen?

 

Can’t remember mate

 

Whatever they were smoking when they thought this was a good idea, I'll have some of that.

 

When I saw it for sale, I instantly thought of you. I know you liked the TF and combo with a trike, couldn't get any better

Or the way I see it, you've ruined an MG TF and wasted a load of ally checker plate !!!

 

All they had to do was build a copy Mazda MX-5, and they fecked even that up.

That and the accountants feckin up the cylinder head gasket orders.

 

.

 

.