This made me laugh

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Clarence the cross eyed tiger.

 

A prostitute goes to a gynecologist with severe stomach pains. After she's stripped off and the doctor has examined her, he says, "The issue is with your aviaries." She says, "Don't you mean ovaries doctor?" He replies, "No, there's been a cockatoo in there!"

 

I was telling a woman about my ability to guess the day a woman was born on just by feeling her breasts. "Really?" she said. "Go on then. Try" After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience "Come on" she demanded "What day was I born on?" "Yesterday?" I replied

 

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No, it’s a bush