This made me laugh

I recently got a quote from a landscape gardener, he could help me tho', my garden is portrait.

 

I told my wife I was feeling horny just now. "Well, we can soon sort that out" she said winking, and slowly undressing... She was right. I stopped feeling horny immediately!

 

Here kitty kitty

 

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Having a bad day at work.

 

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Is the occupational therapy working?

 

Cop pulls a car over for speeding and says to the driver “if you can give me an excuse I’ve not heard before you can go free” so the driver says “a few weeks ago my wife ran away with a police officer and I thought you were bringing her back”
Cop closes his ticket book and says “have nice day sir”

 

Tucker