This made me laugh

My wife says she's leaving me cause I treat her like one of my dogs... She'll be back when she's hungry.

 

Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher.. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..' The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay. Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel Fitter.' Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick £160 a week. When Paddy found out he was furious.. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, 'Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour.' 'What skill?' yelled Paddy. 'I sew da elastic on da knickers and thongs, then Mick puts 'em over his head and says: 'Yep, diesel fitter.'

 

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Just the sort of warm water screenwash you need on a frosty morning.

 

Good to see some cops do have a sense of humour....

 

Fail.

 

Jayus, Mary, and Joseph, seen that face before, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away.

 

Lets take it to another level.

 

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