This made me laugh

Cobwebs probably Wayne!

 

You're on a role Jez !!!!!

 

If you're lying in a crumpled heap etc, there's sure to be skid marks

 

Brilliant AL !! especially lost dog

 

Now THEY are good!!!

 

WHIP ME

Frank and Fiona were making passionate love in Frank's van when suddenly Fiona, who was a bit on the kinky side,and had just read "40 shades of grey", yells out,"Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!"

Frank, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.

About a week later Fiona notices that the marks left by the whipping session are not healing and starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.

The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Fiona a little too embarrassed that she had even had sex with Frank, let alone allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits, "Yes I did."

Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims:

"I thought so because in all my years as a doctor you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."

 

Can I just buy the one that's fallen off?

 

He looked as though he could handle it well though.

 

WTF, I've seen some trick riding at the circus but not on the bloody road, well not legally. I wonder what our Plods would make of it.