This made me laugh

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“Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study were incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of 2 million Euros, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex. When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didn't really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around 75 dollars (three cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.”

 

Chicken balls

 

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A man lost in the Australian outback claims to have survived by drinking nothing but piss. Talk about bad luck. He found the only pub there and all they served was Fosters.

 

Did you know that on average, an Australian man has sex three or four times a week, whereas a Japanese man has sex on average, once or twice a year. This has perplexed me very much, I'd no idea that I was Japanese.

 

Working at a Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

 

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I've just been notified by my house insurance company that if my tent gets stolen I won't be covered