This made me laugh

WARNING! .

Heineken contains female hormones!

I was out with some mates yesterday, and one of them mentioned that he'd read somewhere that Heineken contains a lot of female hormones. Having had a good laugh, we decided to put this to the test. So we all, for the sake of science obviously, had about 20 pints of said beer. After that it was effectively proven that Heineken is full of female hormones:

1. we'd all got fatter;
2. we talked a lot without actually saying anything;
3. we couldn't drive a car anymore, let alone park it;
4. we were unable to think logically;
5. we couldn't admit we were wrong, even if that was obviously the case;
6. we all thought we were the centre of the universe;
7. we all had headaches and didn't want to have sex;
8. our emotions were uncontrollable;
9. we held hands all the time, in order to support each other;
10. we had to go to the toilet every 15 minutes, often together.

In the interest of science we'll test Stella for the same effects next week...

 

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So Im sitting on the bus, and this lassie comes on. Pretty, well dressed,( if I was 20 years younger etc). I think to myself WOW you smell great, like thats the nicest perfume I wonder what it is? I wonder should I ask? Then I think ( health and safety) no dont ask.
WoW that perfume is fing nice. Then I look past her and see...
The men are tarring the street behind her.
I like the smell of hot tar.I knew that.