This made me laugh

The Vicar's Salary

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation.

No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Queensland & NSW, stands up and proclaims:
'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education for all of his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
'If the Vicar stays, I will give him free sex.'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:


'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Fuck him'.

 

"Oh Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!"


Brain bleach time......................................

 

I'm worried you'd go in that far...

 

http://digg.com/video/this-surveill...lice-in-a-convenience-store-is-beyond-bonkers

You can see how people end up injured.

 

Errr...

She could have fallen on anyone’s head!!!

 

Now we have social media you will find that any coffee shop restaurant or public place will fit this

 

That's because between reaching the surface and the collection point it's also filtered through several dead sheep, which is what gives it that little extra zest that other spring waters just do NOT have!

 

Looking like a "Foosball" player from the future