This made me laugh

Haha, if you have been badgering him to sell you one what do you expect?

 

Stuffing her in a cavity wall would be better

 

The English lassie should have a tin of special brewin her hand

 

Nope none of our lassies support our football team.
I'll be honest even I don’t support that load of rubbish

 

Steady on! There’s insults and then there’s insults!! Harsh but true

 

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination?


HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

 

I will give you the benefit of doubt here and blame that one on the alcohol! That must be the worst joke I have ever heard bar none!!

 

A sandwich, a burger and a hotdog walk into a bar
Barman says, "sorry, we don't serve food here"

 

Tucker

 

Can you order dressed crab in a nudist colony?

 

Tucker

 

My Mrs and three of her pals squeezed into my car after weight watchers.
I muttered “fat cows”
The Mrs snapped “What was that!?”
I said “You Herd."

 

I'll never understand women, my wife said to me earlier:
"Babe, I'm stuck on 6 across. 8 letters, fixed the highway?"
"Retarred." I replied.
Ungrateful bitch just threw the paper at me and stormed out!!..