This made me laugh

I’m sick of reading about big game trophy hunters on social media, THIS IS NO JOKE... even sick bastards like Stephen Spielberg are getting in on the action?! Well I say fight back, DONT watch his films, it’s like your funding his depraived actions!

 

OLD 'GEEZER' ...

An old man became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said:



"Dr Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."

Dr Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $$. So he went to Dr Geezer's clinic.

Dr Young: "Dr Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ??"

Dr Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr Young's mouth."

Dr Young: Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"

Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"

Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr Young: "My eyesight has become so weak ---

I can hardly see anything!!!!"


Dr Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so here's your $1000 back" --- giving him a $10 bill!


Dr Young: "But this is only $10!"


Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of this 'story' --- Just because you're "Young" it doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"!


And remember ... don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take too much to tick us off.

ENJOY YOUR DAY !!

PS : Written in large print for old Geezers.

 

Some of you will get it
Some of you won’t

 

Many years back my Sister & her boyfriend were stuck in traffic on the M20, after nearly 2 hours of moving only a few yards, my sister couldn't sit still coz she needed to pee, the boyfriend said he would pull onto the hard shoulder so she could do the business along side the car.
She wouldn't and said she would wait, but another 20 mins went past & she couldn't hold it anymore, so he pulled out of the traffic on to the hard shoulder, Sis got out and squatted beside the car and pulls up her skirt and down her pants and starts to pee, boyfriend then pulls forward leaving her exposed to the much amused people stuck in the queue!

He thought it was hilarious as did I when he told me, Sis didn't see the funny side and it was apparently a very frosty journey home and strangely she binned him off a short time later.

 

Your lot know how to cheers Geordies up bless them

 

Reminds me of one of the times the Toon made it to the charity shield (I know ages back !) and we were all on the lash am in the Wembley Hilton pre match and this lass walked down the back street and dropped her knickers thinking she was out of sight .Only then did 200 pissed Geordies start braying on the bar window above her and gave her a rousing send off!

 

For Dilli
Sunderland Fan forums suggested matchday playlist

So, with another Great Escape looking pretty unlikely, we started thinking about the music which might feature on the day relegation is confirmed.



Here’s Francis Todd Malone’s suggestion, which contains something for all the family - if your family’s a bit weird. Sadly, the Champions League theme just missed the cut...



Pre-Match:

Has It Come To This: The Streets

Barrel of a Gun: Depeche Mode

Restless: New Order

I Wish: Skee-Lo

Tighten Up: Electronic

Don’t Let Me Down: The Beatles

Believe: Chemical Brothers

I Will Survive: Gloria Gaynor



Half-Time:

Something Better Change: The Stranglers

Should I Stay Or Should I Go: The Clash

Leave Before The Lights Come On: Arctic Monkeys

Skip to the End: The Futureheads



Full-Time:

Shattered Dreams: Johnny Hates Jazz

Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now: The Smiths

Every Day I Love You Less and Less: Kaiser Chiefs

This Is a Low: Blur

What Have I Done To Deserve This: Pet Shop Boys

It’s Grim Up North: KLF

What Now: Rihanna

 

What about here we go again.
Tucker