This made me laugh

ASBO next week !!!!

 

I wouldn’t

 

well here's an idea

 

Wales have begun their toboggan Olympic squad selection for 2022.

 

Friend of mine who shall remain nameless for reasons that will soon become clear, had a bit of a coming off a few weeks back on one of those cold frosty dark nights on one of the country lanes round our way. Ended up sideways on his bike in the ditch by the side of the road. Nothing broken as far as he could tell, though he felt a bit sore here and there.

Luckily he was able to pull himself clear of the bike and very shortly afterwards, just as he was getting to his feet and removing his helmet, to add to his good fortune a car came down the road and pulled up beside him. Out of the car stepped this gorgeous young lady. Long blonde hair, short skirt, with coat unbuttoned.

'Here, give me your hand,' she said, reaching over to help him out of the ditch. As she leaned over he caught the scent of one of those expensive French perfumes and couldn't help but notice the top three buttons of her blouse were also undone exposing a rather magnificent cleavage inside a tight frilly bra.

'Are you okay? Anything broken?' she breathed.

'Yes thanks' he replied, 'No problem, just a little winded.'

Not accepting him so lightly brushing off any possible injuries the young lady put her hand to his brow and showed him traces of blood on her fingers. And by now the grazes on his chin and nose, which he hadn't noticed before, were beginning to sting. And as she helped him climb out of the ditch he could now feel some stinging pain from scrapes and bangs on his knees and hip he'd obviously got through the torn seams of his trousers from rocks and stones in the ditch.

'Look' she said 'I only live down the road. Why don't you come back with me and I can check you over for any injuries'.

'That's very kind of you,' my mate said, 'but I'm married and I don't think my wife would approve'.

'Don't be silly. I'm a nurse. In fact I'm just on my way home from work. Let's get you back to my place. Your wife surely wouldn't object to a nurse checking you over for injuries and cleaning those cuts and grazes, now would she.'

'I ... don't ... suppose so,' he replied cautiously, after a moment's hesitation. And so she helped him stiffly (no pun intended) in to her car and they drove a couple of miles down the road to her cottage in the next village. Here she helped my mate out of his jacket and trousers and gently cleaned him up with Dettol, cotton wool and warm water, put some dressing on his wounds and Ralgex on his bruises'.

My mate couldn't help but feel the young lady was a little more 'caring' shall we say, than you'd receive in A&E. He couldn't but notice that her long finger nails occasionally brushed against a 'hard place' when she dabbed the grazes on his thigh.

'Why don't you spend the night here to recover', she said, looking him straight in the eyes. 'I can make up the spare bed, or you could share with me.'

'That's awfully, er, tempting', stuttered my mate, 'but as I said, I'm married and I really don't think my wife would approve.'

'Don't be silly. I told you, I'm a nurse. You need to rest and recover. And anyway, your wife isn't here is she?'

'Well ... no, ... I suppose not'.

'Where is your wife anyway?'

'Still in the ditch I should think.'

 

Just got back from a freezing ride and this made me burst out laughing and forget the cold
Cheers mate very funny

 

Rich that was truly laugh out loud funny !!!!!!

 

England Rugby manager at home tonight.

 

We've been hearing about 1966 for the last 52 years ! !