This made me laugh

Prolly didn't bring that case of wine either.

 

I thought this horse's arse was a panda!

 

and

 

If the Lord of the Rings was filmed in 2024.

 

HAHA! If I said my wife was a lousy housekeeper, it might give you the mistaken impression that she does some housekeeping but doesn't do it well. She just doesn't. So, we hired a cleaning lady to come in every two weeks a few years ago. Marge was a good old gal and did a good job, but she always had a cup of coffee with her. It took a few months to realize she was spiking her coffee from the liquor cabinet. Figured it out when the vodka and gin didn't quite taste right. So, I marked the spot where they were positioned with a couple tiny pencil dots on the shelf and sure enough, one or the other had been moved after she left. We didn't fire her. We let her go on for a year or so. She left of her own volition. Probably when she realized she was drinking the water she refilled the bottles with.

 

Wife: Honey, pack your bags I just won the lottery!
Husband: Great! What should I pack?
Wife: I don't care. Just do it quickly and get out.