This made me laugh

A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?”
She said, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.”
“If you don’t mind my asking,” he said, “what do you use it for?”
“We use it when we make love,” she said.
The researcher was a little taken aback. “Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it?”
The woman said, “I don’t mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out.”
What were you thinking ……..

 

A traveling salesman hawking insect repellent knocks on a farmer's door. He extolls the virtues of his product and how great it would be for the farmer while out working in the field. The farmer says, "Well, let's test it. If it's as good as you say, I'll buy a whole case." The salesman agrees. They go out to the field. The farmer says, "Strip down and slather your stuff on. I'll tie you to a fence post overnight and we'll see." Eager to make the sale, the salesman agrees. The next morning the farmer goes out to the field. The salesman's legs are shaking, he looks pale, weak and haggard, but there's not a bug bite on him. "You made a sale!" The farmer exclaims. The salesman says weakly, "That's great, but doesn't that calf have a mother?"