This made me laugh

A guy walks into a bar and sees an empty seat next to a very attractive young woman. He sits down next to her and orders a drink. He's about to try and strike up a conversation when she sneezes, dabs her nose with a hankie and visibly shudders. He says, "Bless you." She thanks him. He's about to try again when she sneezes, dabs her nose with the hankie and visibly shudders. Again, he says, "Bless you" and she thanks him. This happens a third time and he's getting concerned. He asks, "Are you ill?" She says, "No. I have a rare condition. Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The guy asks, "Are you taking anything for it?" She says, "Pepper."

 

Holy shit lol, do you actually call your "dollar stores" as "pound land"?

 

Had the same thought! Makes sense, though.

 

A buddy asked me if I wanted to go to a strip club.

Nope. If I want to drop a bunch of cash on a woman with whom I have no chance of getting laid, I'll just take my wife out shopping.

 

Me when I was eight: "Mom, was I adopted?"

My Mom, laughing: "As if we'd adopt the likes of you"

 

My buddy refers to the stereotypical garb and accessories some bikers favor as "Pirate Chic."

 

Yep.

https://www.poundland.co.uk/

 

Umm

 

I remember when my youngest was little and walked in from the back yard and said, "Guess how old I'm going to be."

I played along. "How old, honey?"

She held up four fingers.

To this day, she won't tell us where she got them.