This made me laugh

If the Y on his number plate had been a B, I’d have been impressed

 

If my day had been boring so far, why would I want to ‘complete’ it with a boring conversation with a strange redhead with questionable dress sense and a wooden gramophone? Just sayin’

 

Robbie Robertson has joined Levon Helm and Rick Danko.

Not to make light of his passing, but do you think when he got to the Pearly Gate he jumped the line, walked up to St. Peter and said, "I'm with The Band."?

 

If you’re still there with that plastic bag Dave, try rubbing your hands either side of the bag, REALLY fast, while shouting ‘open you bastard’ …..or, rub your hand on something moist (armpit or arse crack) it’s So much more hygienic than licking your finger
Or carry a spittoon

 

Fish wife?

 

Wurst accident I've ever seen. It mustard been terrible. Lucky he didn't roll it. No bun intended. To be frank, I wouldn't relish the thought of writing that report. Oscar Mayer or may not have been hurt. Probably hot dogging it and lost control. What a wiener.

Not sorry.