This made me laugh

Being the wonderful husband that I am, I decided to do a good turn and vacuum the bedroom. I first had to remove all the shoes from around/under the bed and bureaus and line them up in the hallway. This turned out to be the most labor intensive and time-consuming part of the whole process. On the left is Mrs. Fork Lock's footwear. On the right is mine. Now, we are both wearing a pair of sneakers, so that's another pair for each of us. Out of curiosity, I checked in the bedroom closet.
In addition to what is mine in the hallway, in the closet there is a pair of tall cycle boots, a pair of brown dress shoes and a pair of black dress shoes. A total of seven pairs of footwear for me, including slippers and flip-flops. No exaggeration, in addition to what's lined up in the hall, the Mrs. has another FIFTEEN pair of boots, shoes and sneakers on shelves and on a rack hanging inside the closet door!

If you took all of my wife's footwear and lay them end to end, East to West, and then stepped into and out of each pair in succession, you could walk from Atlantic City, NJ to Los Angeles, CA without a bare foot ever touching the ground.

Is there a support group out there? A twelve-step program? (No pun intended)

 

I know a guy who is an airplane mechanic. I guess it's a standard joke amongst those types, but he said he has a 100% reliability record. No plane he's ever worked on has gotten stuck in the sky.

Then there was this:

WWII vet: "I am credited with fifteen downed German aircraft."

"Wow! were you an Allied fighter pilot?"

WWII vet: "No I was a Luftwaffe mechanic."

Then there was this:

True story. In high school we were learning about the Blitz. A kid named Harding said his mother was a British immigrant and she lived through the bombing of London. A kid named Buckhoffer piped up and said his grandfather lived through it too. Only he was in Messerschmidt.