This made me laugh

I dated a Hawaiian girl when I was younger. She didn't appreciate my sense of humor. She never laughed out loud at my jokes.

Just a low ha.

 

It really shouldn't be that hard... See what I did there?

 

g

 

Boss: "This is the third time you've been late this week, do you know what that means?"
Me: "It's Wednesday?"

 

A guy wants a parrot. He goes to the pet shop and is shocked at the prices of the birds, some in the thousands of dollars. But there's one sitting in the corner that was only a couple hundred. "Why is this one so cheap?" he asked the owner. The owner answers, "He has no feet." The guy asks, "How does he stay on his perch?" The owner says, "He wraps his penis around the perch." The owner parts the bird's feathers and, sure enough, the parrot is gripping the perch with his penis. The shop owner says, "But he's a great talker and you can't tell under his feathers." So, the guy buys the parrot. He comes home from work a few days later and the parrot says, "I think your wife is cheating on you." The guy asks, "How do you know?" The bird says "After you left a fellow came over. He was kissing your wife." "Then what happened?" the guy asks. "Then they undressed, and they were embracing and kissing, passionately." "Then what?" asks the guy, angrily.
"I don't know." says the bird. "I got a hard-on, fell off my perch and was knocked unconscious."

 

God one

 

For sale - medieval torture device. While stocks last.