This made me laugh

Makes a change from not giving one to not be able to have one!

 

Little Johnny's neighbour just had a baby. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears.
When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.
Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.
Johnny looks in the cot and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks Johnny." Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Is he able to see alright?"
"Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision."
"That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!"

 

Put a man in the dog house...you'll soon find him in the cat house.

 

I had an MRI scan last week. As the bed moved me into the tube, all the wires got snagged up on me so I shouted out and they stopped it and untangled things. About 30/40 minutes later they announced it was the final scan sequence and they were injecting the dye through the canula in my left arm. Seconds later I was withdrawn from the tube. Turns out the earlier snagging had ripped the canula out of my arm. They put another one in my right arm. Why didn't they check all the cables were safe in the first place and how did they miss the ripped out canula ?

 

I'm secure enough in my masculinity to admit that I appreciate the gift of flowers. My daughters got me this lovely arrangement for Fathers' Day.

What could be better than a beef jerky bouquet?

 

Nice gift idea

I received a Triumph Twin Haynes manual from my youngest .... Happy Fathers day!