This made me laugh

I am thinking about starting up a business selling real Christmas trees. I reckon it should grow from year to year.

 

I saw a job advert for a funeral director. I was about to apply for it but then realised it was a dead end job.

 

Interesting Facial Recognition Feature !

 

Dominic Cummings??

 

I’ve heard of adding gators

 

I have just seen an advert for a mortuary assistant. I was about to apply for it but then realised it was just dead peoples shoes.

 

While in China , a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in Sydney, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with
bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before,
orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted
Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."
The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis"
The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!"
The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option."
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease."
The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do?
My doctor wants to cut off my penis!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid Australian docttah, always want opawate.
Make more money dat way. No need amputate!"
"Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims.
"Yes, says the Chinese doctor, "Wait two week. Fawl off by itself.