This made me laugh

An old gent living on the Mississippi Delta is watching the flood waters rise. Eventually he climbs up onto his roof to avoid the water. A man in a rowboat comes by and tells the old guy to jump in. Being the religious type, the old guy replies 'I'm a man of faith. God will save me" and the man rows off. The waters continue to rise. A motor launch cruises up. The occupant says, "Jump In!" The old guy replies 'I'm a man of faith. God will save me" and the launch takes off. As the waters deepen a Coast Guard helicopter hovers overhead. The Coastie says "We're lowering a basket. Get in and we'll fly you to safety. The old guy again replies 'I'm a man of faith. God will save me" and the chopper flies off. The waters rise to record levels and the old gent drowns. Next thing he knows he's standing before God. He says, "Don't get me wrong Lord, I'm grateful to be here, but I have been your faithful servant. Why did let me drown? God replies
"What the hell? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!"

 

I'm going to call this one out as exactly why there needs to be such a thing as International Women's Day. We really should move on from these old tropes.

 

Only if they won't give us an International mens' Day:

Wake up at 9:00 to a BJ
Breakfast - Bacon, Eggs, hash browns, toast, OJ & coffee
Go riding your motorcycle, go fishing or golfing
Lunch - Sandwich of choice & beer
Cigar
Nap
Dinner: Anything deep fried - More beer
Watch a game on TV
Cocktails and cigar at eight
A nice massage, shower, good swiving and then to bed

In fact, International Men's Month would be better.

 

They did, but we forgot which day it was.

 

Let alone the pile of dishes in the kitchen..glad we have a couvert for 9!

 

30th. February???

 

International men's day would be ace.
It'd give people a dedicated day in which to tell us exactly how we're oppressing them.
Then, like most men, I get to go home and be told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it, by my wife like every other f**king day because for some reason I'm the oppressive 'patriarchy'.

I'm all for equality, and as a society we're becoming more equal in the workplace and in general. However we've still got a long way to go, as for some reason not many people want to do all the dirty s**ty jobs, but do like the cushy office jobs.

 

They have, 14 March
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steak_and_Blowjob_Day

 

She was too busy surfing.........

 

It all sounds good to me! All except for that fishing or golfing part.

 

Me telling a joke that won’t offend anyone...

Me - “How many of myself does it take to change a light bulb?”
PC friend. - “I don’t know, how many?”
Me. - “5... one me to hold the bulb, the other 4 me’s to turn the room around!”
PC friend - “That’s not very diverse, you need to be more inclusive!”

 

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