This made me laugh

,

 

,

 

,

 

Time to put up the missile toad!



Sorry.

 

We had recently bought a small kitchen blender called the "The Magic Bullet" that is amazing.
The wife and I were at a party amongst a group of friends discussing food and cooking. Getting the name wrong, I threw in that I had just bought Lori a Silver Bullet and she loves it.
One of the wives in the group starts giggling and I asked "What's funny?"
She blurts out "The Silver Bullet is a dildo." Everyone laughed until her husband asked her "How do you know that?"

Awkward silence...

 

He's set off early this year.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Another year has passed
and we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
and winter seems much colder.

There was a time not long ago
when life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
about "Living in the Past"

We used to go to weddings,
football games and lunches.
Now we go to funeral homes,
and after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,
from parties that were wild.
Now we suffer body aches
and wish the night would die.

We used to go out dining,
and couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel
to places near and far.
Now we get sore asses
from riding in the car.

We used to go to nightclubs
and drink a little booze.
Now we stay home at night
and watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,
and now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...
before you're too damned old!

 

Ahhh the lovely old art form, Shibari! Knot for the faint hearted…

 

Well that’s the outside lights sorted.

 

The new nativity

 

.