This made me laugh

After it’s lunch, it’ll chase cars...

 

true

 

It wasn’t a guy it was a woman so she could shout at her man for being late

 

That sounds like a health plan I could replicate….!

 

,

 

Pocket money?
Eh lad! When I wor a kid we couldn't afford pockets!

 

Or trousers.

 

A little girl kneels down to say her prayers before bed. Her father watches over her.

Little Girl: "Please bless mommy, daddy and grandmom. Goodbye grandpop."

Dad: "Why did you say goodbye to grandpop?"

Little girl: "I don't know. I just felt like I had to say it."

The following day, grandpop dies.

A couple weeks later it's prayer time again.

Little Girl: "Please bless mommy and daddy. Goodbye grandmom."

Dad: "Why did you say goodbye to grandmom?"

Little girl: "I don't know. I just felt like I had to say it."

The following day, grandmom dies.

A week or so later the little girl is again saying her prayers.

"Please bless mommy. Goodbye Daddy."

The father, very concerned, doesn't ask why she said goodbye to him. The next day he's walking on eggshells. He's very careful in everything he does. When he gets home from work he settles in, somewhat relieved.

Dad to wife: "How was your day?"

Wife: "Better than the postman's. He dropped dead on the lawn today."

 

In my youngest daughter's driveway, looking at the house next door.

Apparently, the "No smoking in the house" rule is being observed - sort of.

 

Had to laugh earlier. I was playing on the kids Play Station a game centred on Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six novels.

Anyway, sometimes when a computer controlled character (NPC) see you they shout something such as “enemy spotted on the ground floor”.

Then when you shoot them they sometimes go “agh”.

Well, I got the timing just right and the NPC said “enema”.

Had me giggling for ages.

Ok, maybe you had to be there, but it was funny.

Having some butch Terrorist shouting “Enem-agh”” just does it for me.

 

My eldest daughter and her band were performing in Norfolk, VA last night.

Seems they stayed at the Beetlejuice Hotel.

Shots from the lobby.






Is this a slug?



Oh, This explains it. The interior decorator.

 

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