This made me laugh

Showing my age...

My dad used to refer to Richard Nixon and Spiro Agnew as Dirty Dick and the Creepy Greek.

 

Joan: "Hi June! How's your husband Fred doing? Last time I talked to you he was seeing a psychiatrist. He thought he was a dog."

June: "You didn't hear? Fred died."

Joan: "That's terrible, June. What happened?"

June: "He was laying in the driveway licking his balls and I backed over him."

 

So, this young lad goes to a brothel for the first time and asks the madam for the services of one of her ladies. The madam tells him to go away. "You're too young and inexperienced" say the madam. "How am I to gain any experience if I can't have a woman?" asks the lad. The madam says, "Go into the woods, find a tree with a knot hole and practice." The lad returns in a couple weeks. The madam asks the lad if he has gained any experience. The lad assures her that he has. She sends him upstairs with one of her ladies. Shortly thereafter she hears a terrible racket and screaming. She runs upstairs to find the lad chasing the woman around with a broomstick. "What are you doing!?" screams the madam. Says the lad, "I have to check for bees."

 

When I first heard this it wasn't bees but squirrels..

 

A better joke with Squirrels as they’d be after his nuts…

 

Just as an aside, I remember Dick Mulvaney playing for my team Oldham Athletic (stop tittering) towards the end of his career. He joined us from either Bolton or Blackburn, I'm not sure which. The picture shown looks like it was Blackburn.

 

Spotted in Amsterdam

 

Yep, they like their bikes in Amsterdam...

 

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I read somewhere once that 10,000 bikes a year are recovered from the canals in Amsterdam. Now I see why.

 

It's actually more than 15.000 annualy...

 

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