This made me laugh

And pillion AND he's got a topbox plate on too! Great!

 

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Really expensive and still not tasty?

 

ANDREW INVESTIGATION: POLICE DISCOVER IMPORTANT NEW EVIDENCE.

 

Women have always laughed at my todger too.

I try to explain it’s perfectly normal. Lot of people have small ones…

 

Oh the humiliation some dogs (particularly little ones) must endure......

 

Sorry Sandy, I blame it on its ancestors. They were quite happy to have a quick shag with anything for a good time.

Im not sure they ever thought a distant descendant would ever be caught wearing a classic set of farmers dungarees and hat.

One or both might have developed a headache.

 

A phrase often quoted at me by shop keepers across the land - for some inexplicable reason.

 

So, this traveling salesman knocks on the farmers door. When the farmer answers the salesman says he's selling the world's greatest insect repellant. The farmer says to the salesman that he'll buy a whole case of the stuff if the salesman can prove it works. The salesman says he'll take the challenge. They go out into the field at dusk. The salesman strips naked and slathers himself with the insect repellant. The farmer ties him to a fence post. The next morning the farmer goes out to the field and is amazed that there's not a single bug bite on the salesman. However, the salesman looks weak, pale and haggard, The farmer says he'll buy a whole case of the insect repellant. The salesman, barely able to speak, says. "That's great, but doesn't that damned calf have a mother?"

 

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In thirty years time this sap will be prosecuted for sexual harassment and this evidence will have him found guilty of not knowing in advance his affection was not reciprocated. They put the poor girl (I assume it’s a girl as the name was traditionally used by females of both gender identity and female physical types) under undue stress to accept their brazen and unwanted advances by not offering a clear rejection (and restitution).

At least with dating apps you approve someones approach. Gone are the days of trying chat up someone in a bar. How many successful relationships started with a ‘no’ I don’t want to go out with you but the other party put the effort in and won them over. Isn’t that behaviour frowned upon now?

Opps - rant over. Sorry.

 

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