This made me laugh

Nah, I was into bloodshot eyes and permanently blackened puffy eyelids through too much partying.

 

.

 

Her only qualification seems to be that she is already used to working with arseholes...

 

Perfectly qualified to be a politician given the chaotic and radicalised nature of electorates these days.

I’m not including members of the forum in that statement…

 

PS the twat comment was aimed at Adam Ant and not you. I should have made that clear. Sorry.

 

It would have been funnier if you actually were a pissed off Mr Goddard who had heard variants of that joke since having your period under the spotlight of fame!

 

Didn’t he become a gangsta?

I’m off to do some research

Edit: Arrested for assault and firearms possession.

 

“Fred, Daphne and Shaggy… can you name one of Africa’s big 5 safari animals?”

“Rhino?”

“I know you do Scooby, but it’s not your turn.”

 

For the “Sorry, I haven’t a clue” fans… a Humphrey Lyttelton special…
(Edit: Oops, well spotted @Cyborgbot )

For those who are unaware, a limerick is a short nonsense poem of usually humorous or witty intent. It consists of a single five-line verse, with a strict metre and rhyming structure.

The first two lines rhyme with each other; then the next two, shorter, lines rhyme with each other, but not the first two. Then the final line, of similar length and metre to the first two lines, also rhymes with them, in a manner which brings the whole to a satisfying conclusion.

A typical example would go like this...

There was a young lady from Slough
Who developed a terrible cough
It was awful to bear
And dreadful to hear
Let's all hope the poor girl pulls through.

 

Great show.

RIP Humphrey Lyttelton and Barry Cryer (oh, he’s not dead yet)…

 

It seems the young man had a date
To pick up his brand new soul mate
Said excitedly Michael
“It’s my new motorcycle”
And for this he just can’t Harley wait

 

Can we not have some more Adam Ant jokes?

 

Okay.
I just met a biker addicted to brake fluid. However, he was adamant that he could stop anytime.

 

Blimey - such a non PC video! How dare the BBC do that. Not a single non-white on it! They wouldn’t get away with that today.

 

I relabeled every jar in my wife's spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet ...but the thyme is cumin!

 

Hmmm, a "pretty safe commute"?! A cool and informative little video about this road in China, @Vulpes. But it certainly didn't make me change my mind.