This made me laugh

Man goes in a pub.
Barman said, "sorry, we don't serve drinks to exotic fruit."

 

I've no qualms about shooting animals for food - I've done so. One clean shot, lights out. No pain, no fear, and the animal, which has had a good life, gets eaten. Culling does not need to be cruel, and is neccessary.

 

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Can’t believe what I saw in McDonald’s today. An old man placed an order for one hamburger , French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered 'THE TEETH'.

 

Cabinet Reshuffle:
Germany’s culture minister is a trained art historian; France’s wrote a book on Verdi. The new UK culture secretary ate ostrich anus on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.

 

Horse power

 

Venn diagrams, anyone?

 

That would be this road, in Hubei, China... Were you to change your mind...

 

Would someone please explain this?

 

Stuart Leslie Goddard If we are to be accurate.

However it would make for a shit joke so please go with Adam Ant. Twat.

 

That's 3rd gear cog - easy fix erase 3rd gear position on gear stick..

 

Did you wear a white, under eye stripe in the late 70’s by any chance???

 

Our is certain to be best prepared to deal with internet trolls and woke voters.