This made me laugh

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I trust you know your Jim Morrison/The Doors.

 

Daily Mailed nailed it in 2000 as always

 

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This is actually my neighbor, Kristin's, dog not too long after she rescued her. Kristin came home from work one day to this chaotic mess. She snapped a pic and put a caption on it--I guess you have to laugh to stay sane if your dog ravages your home like this! Mr. Sandi and I know this dog and nowadays she's a delight.

 

nice

 

While in China , a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in Sydney, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with
bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before,
orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted
Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."
The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis"
The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!"
The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option."
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease."
The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do?
My doctor wants to cut off my penis!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid Australian docttah, always want opawate.
Make more money dat way. No need amputate!"
"Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims.
"Yes,"says the Chinese doctor, "Wait two week. Fawl off by itself.

 

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Didn't take long ,did it?

 

Best one yet!

 

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Slow news day. No one else has ever had an affair.

Edit: Although giving your new squeeze a big contract is not so clever…