This made me laugh

It took a little while for that one to sink in

 

A set of jumper cables walks into the bar, the bartender looks up and says "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

 

.

 

He must have been an Afrikaner

 

Or he has terrible body odour…

 

My Handsome Husband says the last one should be first and that four out of the five isn't bad

 

My own or someone else's? It's important to be clear on these things.

 

I agree - it's an important distinction. I can think of a number of deserving candidates...

 

.

 

After seeing that, I threw away four patio chairs

 

It could have been worse: there might have been a dog or cat under the chair...